I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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