If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The beer is more important than you right now.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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