I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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