We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
