Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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