You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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