perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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