So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i dont even know how to be here
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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