I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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