Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
