oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
