thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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