why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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