I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
