oh god the rape fog is back!
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
