last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
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We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
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thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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