The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize