I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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