so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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