Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
