I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
