Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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