I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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