Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
birth control should be required to get into college
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
