Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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