I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
