I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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