Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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