"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
