Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
