I want to make a zoo with you.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize