we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
