Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize