Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
