I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
