Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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