He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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