Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
