She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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