Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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