I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Never joke about your clitoris.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
