He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
