I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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