dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
