So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
