So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
