I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
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Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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