i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
