You can't motorboat a personality
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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