shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The convent might be a nice break from real life
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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