I just gift wrapped bread.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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