just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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