mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
