Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
