dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
please come you make the beer taste better
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
