You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
