i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
