I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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