Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
