Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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