I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just want to make out with him forever
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
