yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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