I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
